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Here are some of Bob Ong funny quotes and sayings:

1. “Ang babae, kahit inlove, DENY ng DENY. Ang lalaki, kahit walang gusto, I LOVE YOU ng I LOVE YOU.”

2.  ”Ang buhay parang teleserye, Kung hindi ka masaya ngayon, ABANGAN BUKAS.”

3.  ”Huwag kang matakot magmahal ulit, hindi naman lahat ng tao katulad niya.”

4.  ”Sometimes looking at my twitter profile page makes me think that I’M TALKING TO MYSELF.”

5. ”Tamang panahon, maling relasyon. Tamang relasyon, maling panahon.”

6. “Kung kailan kita namiss, doon mo ko natitiis.”

7. ”Ayokong nasasanay sa mga bagay na pwede namang wala sa buhay ko.”

8. ”Huwag kang matakot magmahal ulit, hindi naman lahat ng tao katulad niya.”

9. ”The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.”

10. ”Wala ka ng wala pero meron ka pa palang nararamdaman para sakanya.”

11.  ”That amazing moment when you drop your phone but the headphones save its life.”

12. ”Pano ka mabubuhay kung wala na siya? eh di HUMINGA KA WAG KANG TANGA.”

13. ”Yung feeling na minsan kailangan mo na talagang makipagplastikan kasi ramdam mo na pinaplastik ka din.”

14. “Pag wala ka, ang buhay ko parang lapis na hindi pa natatasahan: pointless.”

15. ”Huwag na huwag ka hahawak ng iba kapag alam mong may hawak ka na.”

16. “Nakakatakot nga na mapagkamalang hindi ka pwedeng mahalin, o mapagkamalian kang mahalin dahil sa itsura mo.”

17. “Kung magpalike ng Facebook Photos and Status Messages, kala mo close.”

18. ”Hindi katangahan ang umibig sa taong hindi ka mahal.”

19. ”Napaka daming dahilan para maging masaya, pero ok na yung rason na, “mahal kita.”

20. “Kung nakikita mo na ang dahilan para iwan siya ! WAG MO NA LNG TIGNAN!”

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Vargas’ name has again made headlines recently as he came out of shadows – he told the real story of his citizenship.   In his story published on The New York Times last June 22, 2011, he tells his story – being an illegal immigrant in the US.   He was unaware of his status until he applied for a driver’s permit when he was 16.   A clerk in the department told him that his green card he handed was fake. Since then, he had to dwell on the fear of getting caught for being an illegal alien.  This fear did not, however, restrained him from fulfilling his American dream.

Excerpt of My Life as Undocumented Immigrant published on The New York Times:

I decided then that I could never give anyone reason to doubt I was an American. I convinced myself that if I worked enough, if I achieved enough, I would be rewarded with citizenship. I felt I could earn it.

I’ve tried. Over the past 14 years, I’ve graduated from high school and college and built a career as a journalist, interviewing some of the most famous people in the country. On the surface, I’ve created a good life. I’ve lived the American dream.

But I am still an undocumented immigrant. And that means living a different kind of reality. It means going about my day in fear of being found out. It means rarely trusting people, even those closest to me, with who I really am. It means keeping my family photos in a shoebox rather than displaying them on shelves in my home, so friends don’t ask about them. It means reluctantly, even painfully, doing things I know are wrong and unlawful. And it has meant relying on a sort of 21st-century underground railroad of supporters, people who took an interest in my future and took risks for me.

Read his full story.

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1. A mother’s love is patient & forgiving when all others are forsaking. It never fails or falters even though the heart is breaking.

2. Mothers hold their children’s hands for a short while, but their hearts forever.

3. A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.

4. A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts.

5. A mother is there to teach and guide,
She’ll be there too through your pain and strife,
A mother will lend a helping hand
until you have the strength to stand.

She’ll pick you up when you are down,
when you need a friend she’ll stick around.
A mother is one who can be strong
when you need someone to lean on.

I’m glad you share a love that knows no end,
you’re more than my mother,
you are my friend.
THANK YOU MOM.

6. A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest…

7. For that’s what a woman, particularly, what a mother wants – to teach her children to take an interest in life. She knows it’s safer for them to be interested in other people’s happiness than to believe in their own. HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL MOTHERS!

Disclaimer: I claim no credit for these inspirational messages. These are compilation of inspirational mother’s day messages lifted from my friends’ status updates from Facebook and Twitter. Copyrights belong to their respective owners.

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Make your mother smile with simple quotes or text messages:

1. What Can I wish you on Mother’s Day? You are already so rich in all the things that really count, a loving heart, a joyous spirit and friends who care. One wish I can make for you is that some small measure of the joy you bring to others will return to you brightening your days and warming your heart through a truly happy year. Have a wonderful Mother’s Day!

2. Mom, thanks for bringing me into a world where love can be expressed electronically. Happy Mother’s Day!!! =)

3. When you feel you are alone in the crowd, when you think no one can understand you, when your love is rejected by others, & when you hate your life, just close your eyes, & see, her face who loves you, more than any one else, who care for you in loneliness, and dies when you cry. She is number 1, but your sweet loving mother. Love your mom first & always.

4. Smiles of happy sunshine, arms of everlasting love, touch of sweet roses. There is magic in the air, whenever your there,
Mother, everything, to you I owe. May all pleasures of life come your way. “Happy Mother’s day”

5. Make for me a place within your heart, on which I can depend. For only you, touch the ancient wellsprings of my tears.
Home through all the wanderings of my years. Eden dat no other can renew, root I cannot rend through rage or art.

6. M – For the MILLION things she gave me
O – For she’s growing OLD
T – For the TEARS she shed 2 save me
H – For her HEART of purest gold
E – For her EYES’ with love light shining
R – For she is always RIGHT & always be.

7. For the best mom
Who always had a smile for me
I know we may be far apart right now
So here’s a great big hug and kiss
Happy Mother’s Day!

8. The love she has deep in her heart,
Always gives me a good jump start,
She is the one, whose love is true,
Thank u Mom for being u.
Happy Mothers Day!

9. Happy Mother’s Day
means more than flowers and gifts
It means saying thank you
It means I love you
You are my mother, my friend
Today is your day!

10.
I take this opportunity
To thank you for
Your immeasurable
Contribution to my life.
Thank you mom!
And wish you a
Very happy mother’s day!

Add yours below.

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The Coca-Cola Happiness Truck brings happiness to the people by delivering not only Coke products but also various goods like stuffed toys, skateboards, a beach chair, even a fishing rod, and many more. You can see how happy the people were. A good marketing strategy that is. Kudos to the Coca-Cola company.

Where will happiness strike next?

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Here are a list of the funny pickup lines/punch lines used in the movie (credits goes to the writer):

Apollo: Sabi ko na nga camera ako eh.
Irene: Bakit?
Apollo: Napapangiti kita eh.

Irene: Alam mo baka hindi ka na makauwi.
Apollo: Bakit?
Irene: Eh nasa isip na kita, eh.

Apollo: Para kang kuto? Lagi kang nasa ulo ko.
Irene: Ihi. Yung hindi kita matiis.
Apollo: Alam mo kung bola ka, di kita kayang i-shoot.
Irene: Dahil lagi mo akong mamimiss?
Apollo: Para kang tae?
Irene: Hah?
Apollo: Dahil hindi kita kayang paglaruan.

Irene: Sino ako?
Apollo: Ikaw si Irene ko, mapapangasawa ko, isa kang photographer.
Irene: Hindi. Isa akong police.
Apollo: Police?
Irene: Dahil ikaw ang most-wanted ko. At ikaw naman pintura. Kasi binigyan mo ng kulay ang buhay ko. O, dictionary, kasi you gave meaning to my life.

Apollo: Alarm clock ka ba?
Irene: Bakit?
Apollo: Kasi ginising mo ang natutulog kong puso eh.

Irene: Ay teka, anong blood type mo?
Apollo: Type “O”, eh ikaw?
Irene: Type ko.

Irene: Mahal kita.
Apollo: Sana pirated CD ka na lang, para paulit-ulit kong marinig yan sa ‘yo.

Apollo: Bagay sayo ang suot mo ha. Pero mas bagay ako sa ‘yo.
Irene: Hika ka ba? Kasi you take my breath away.

Apollo: Nasaan ka kagabi?
Irene: Nandito lang, bakit?
Apollo: Ah kaya pala wala ka sa panaginip ko.

Irene: Alam mo kung ulan ka, lupa ako. Dahil sa ayaw at gusto mo, sa akin pa rin ang bagsak mo.
Apollo: Baka naman ikaw yung bagyo?
Irene: Bakit?
Apollo: Ang lakas kasi ng dating mo eh.

Apollo: Baka gusto mong kumandidato?
Irene: Bakit?
Apollo: Boto naman sayo ang tatay ko eh.

Irene: Ice ka ba?
Apollo: Bakit?
Irene: Eh kasi gusto kitang i-crush.
Apollo: Eh ikaw, alak ka ba?
Irene: Bakit?
Apollo: Ang lakas kasi ng tama ko sayo, eh.

Irene: Ikaw ba ay Meralco?
Apollo: Bakit?
Irene: Eh kasi lumiliwanag ang buhay ko pag kasama kita.

Apollo: Pwede ba kitang abutin? Kasi ikaw ang pangarap ko eh.

Irene: Oi, ibenta niya na lang kasi ang bahay nyo.
Apollo: Bakit naman?
Irene: Eh, libre ka naman tumira sa puso ko eh.

Apollo: Kung gusto mo ikaw na lang ang driver ko.
Irene: Bakit?
Apollo: Para ikaw na lang ang magpapatakbo ng buhay ko.

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Here is another list of the cheesiest and funny Valentine’s Day Pinoy pickup lines:

Pinoy cheesy pickup line #1:

Pinoy cheesy pickup line/phrase #2:

More funny pickup lines here and from the movie My Amnesia Girl here.

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Enjoy this list of Pinoy pickup lines:

1. “I forgot your name. Can I call you mine?”
2. “I lost my number. Can I have yours?”
3. “May free time ka ba? Samahan mo naman ako sa psychiatrist, magdala daw kasi ako ng kinababaliwan ko.
4. “Sana “V” na lang ako. Para I’m always right next to “U”
5. “May butas ba puso mo? Kasi na-trap na ako sa loob, can’t find my way out!”
6. A boy and girl were standing in front of a mirror. GiRL: “What do you see?” BOY: “The rest of my life.”
7. “I love reading MENU. Because it has ME n U.”
8. “Mabilis ka siguro sa mga puzzle noh? Kasi kakasimula pa lang ng araw ko, pero nabuo mo na agad.”
9. “May kilala ka bang gumagawa ng relo? May sira ata relo ko. Pag ikaw kasi kasama ko, humi­hinto ang oras ko.”
10. “Sana ulan ka at lupa na lang ako. Para kahit gaano kalakas ang patak mo, sa akin pa rin ang bagsak mo.”
11. “Maghanda ka na ng salbabida. Kasi lulunurin kita sa pagmamahal ko.”
12. “Inii-SMALL ka ba nila? Di bale, inii-BIG naman kita.”

It will be a huge list so I’m stopping here. You can add yours by leaving a comment below. You can visit the List of Funny Pinoy Pickup Lines II for more.

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Some websites provide good practical jokes that you can use this April Fools Day.

April Fool Zone provides great classical, office, and computer pranks.

Ex: Set the victim’s alarm clock for the middle of the night and hide it somewhere in the room where they will have to get up and scramble around to turn it off. (This works even better if you sneak in after they go to sleep and unscrew the light bulb in their lamp. Then they’ll have to search for the clock in the dark!)

TipJunkie listed some of the great April Fools’ Day Pranks especially the safe ones you can do on your household.

A great video from Household Pranker is also on YouTube, giving tips on how to prank your roommate.

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